Jumping back on the fitness journey

Lately I haven't been as dedicated to my workouts like I should be.  And today my journey starts again.  I will be honest and say that I know there is something holding me back from my fitness goals.  And it's not the workouts...it's the eating.  I seem to always sabotage myself when I start losing a few lbs and before you know it..I've gained it back and more. Losing weight for me is SOO hard...and while others lose a lb or two a week the healthy way...I will be lucky if I lose a half lb.  Very discouraging...but being honest I haven't always put 100% effort in what I put in my mouth.  A couple of years ago I got a personal trainer @ 24 Hour Fitness.  Tom was teaching lift at the time..so I trusted he would get me back on the right track.  And he did...but still I was not happy with my results 100%.  During these 8 training sessions...I did everything right- worked out 5-6 days a week, logged my food and still didn't lose the weight I thought I should have.  I think even Tom felt bad for me so he offered me another half hour session to boost my mood.  I should have realized then that my journey might be a little harder than some...but that I should never give up.

I guess the good news is that I love to workout!  If there is a good group x class...I will be there.  I love turbo kick, Body Pump, Hot Hula, cycle etc...not too many classes I don't like.  And plus now I am re-dedicating the next 90 days to P90X.  Today was day 1...and I forgot how challenging these exercises were.  I was very surprised how much I fell in love with P90X the first time I did my first round back in February.  I'm more of the dancey type person motivated my music...so I was shocked that I couldn't wait until the next P90X workout.  I have probably the majority of the Beachbody workout DVD's but I have to consider myself a P90X girl now...LOL

So...my eating has to change as well as how I view food in general.  I guess I don't have any goals written down as to how my eating should be.  I will be evaluating my eating habits as well as what is non-negotiable for me.  For instance...I am not a big left over's type of person...so given the choice although I may start out with good intentions...come lunch time something better will come along so I end up spending money as well as eating more calories than I should.  I also know I sometimes have an all-or-nothing mentally so if I blow it...my eating is out of control for the rest of the day.  I know logging food is very important...so why don't I do it consistently?  Things I need to figure out as I go along.  There isn't any excuses I can come up that is vaild.  One side of my head comes up with an excuse the the other side has the rebuttal...haha.  I will come up with my eating goals soon and post here so I can go back and remind myself of them.