Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Learning so much about myself...

I am making a commitment to blog each Sunday.  Why Sunday?  Because it is my weigh-in day.  Today...I finally was able to get my 10 lb sticker.  In fact I lost 2.2 lbs. 

So what have I learned so far during my journey.  That I can lose weight...and that is a biggie for me.  For years I struggled to lose weight by myself..through exercise and diet.  And in that order.  As I know now...I got it backwards.  And now I believe what others have been saying for years.  I need the support of others and somebody to hold me accountable.  I still need to reach out to somebody local in my meeting...but just the fact that I am weighing in is always in the back of my mind.

I also learned that I am a hoarder.  I was listening to a Christian show in the car this morning and the pastor was saying that it is not good to hoard.  Yes...it is good to plan for the future but not in excess.  And so I thought about WW and how I don't like to use my weekly allowance points.  They are there to use...and it's not like I can save them after the week..so why not use them?  I tend to splurge a little on Saturday...only because I know I can at that point.  But am I really using the program as intended?  Probably not...because I should be using the majority of my allowance points so I can enjoy food and not feel deprived.  My goal now is to splurge every week...but only after I see how many points I will be using.  It's been over 8 weeks since I've been to In-and Out burger, or a good burger and fries.  The only thing now is that I don't crave a lot of things I used to...or after looking at the points I decide it's not worth the points. 

I have become more active in church lately and there is food everywhere I go.  But luckily there are healthy options...and I now seek them out.  Last Sunday was the first small group study I went to...and of course we had snacks and then dessert.  Luckily I had 7 points to spare before the meeting...but now I know I can have my dessert and still stay within points.  It's all about the planning.

It is enlightening to have this revealed to me...and it was only today.  Why am I hoarding my weekly allowance points?  What am I fearful of?  What is the worse than can happen?  I use all my allowance points and have to hit my daily points instead of going over? Hmmm...I have been doing this for the past 8 weeks.  That I don't lose weight?  I need to believe in the system and have faith it works.  OK..to be honest I don't know if I can use all my points only because I want some sort of cushion in case I underestimated during the week. 

Unfortunately this is not the only area where I tend to hoard...and God is revealing this to me.  In the past when stores used to really double coupons...I would get things just because they were free or cheap.  Who needs 10 jars of pasta sauce?  And I don't eat pasta on a weekly basis anyways...LOL  Now...I am trying to plan my meals based more on what I already have at home...and then buy what ingredients I don't have.  I used to collect beanie babies and now they are sitting in a bag in the "junk" room along with crafting supplies that I haven't touched in years.  So...one of my goals is to de-clutter my house and donate things I don't need to a battered women's shelter. 

Hope everyone has a great week and until next Sunday.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so proud of all that you are accomplishing Doreen. I didn't know that you were struggling with your diet. Especially since you are really good at saying no to eating out at work. I've always thought you looked fit, even now, you look awesome. I've always been this size and have fluctuated between losing and gaining. I'm getting on that healthy lifestyle journey and will see how it all goes. I know it will be slow going for me, but it's on me to keep up with it. Thanks for being an inspiration.
    I can also relate to the hoarding part. I need to start letting things go and stop buying so much even if it's on sale. Have a great Saturday night and a wonderful Sunday.
    Hugs, Lilo